Highs and lows of triathlon training

I've been feeling low since my experience with VOWSA on Monday. However, they were so welcoming, and insisted I go back and try again. I went back this evening and a different volunteer was expecting me. The other woman had told her all about me. She paired me up with another volunteer for my swim. I took it slow, concentrated on relaxing, had a small goal (the first buoy) and made it around the whole 1.2km course in a choppy ocean. I came out shivering and wobbly but elated!

Before I left for the swim session I wrote this, which describes the highs and lows of training so far...

The High...

Running, in the trails at hornby, deciding to take a second loop, getting back after injury.

I was on my own, at my pace, no music. I felt efficient. The run was almost effortless. I had biked there and would cycle back as part of my tri-training. I felt slightly tingly with heat/sweat. But not uncomfortably hot.

I felt in control and strong.

The Low...

Unprepared, taking to the ocean in a wetsuit with a group of swimmers braver, more confident. Into the water, unable to get a stroke/rythmn going with waves slapping in my face. Bobbing around like a cork, feeling out of control. Feeling panic and the constriction of the wetsuit around my chest and interpreting it as asthma. Realising I was being left behind and wanting to give up. Going back to the shore, as the rest continued round the 1km loop.

I felt weak and scared.

Now...

Now, waiting to head over there to swim with VOWSA. My heart is already racing. Knowing I can do as much or as little as I like, but still afraid. Of what? I'm not sure.